HeLLLlllOOOOO :D
I haven’t checked yet but it has probably been a good half year since I last posted. ㅠ.ㅠ So sorry (to myself and anyone who cares) for not updating my blog for so long – I will work on it from now on! To be honest, I’m not exactly in a writing mood right now but I feel I should just try writing something and perhaps, take the chance to get certain negative stuff out of my system. I had a really strong urge to write yesterday; my little mind was overwhelmed by the barrage of thoughts and words that came rushing madly into my head but I didn’t jot them down then because it was too late at night (and uh, I wanted to sleep T^T I regret it now though cos the words are not flowing as readily at the moment). I really should make it a point to write whenever the mood comes!
Anyway, where shall we start.. My non-existent love life (if we exclude my marriage to hubby Hongki)? Hahaha XP
I’m turning 21 this year and I’m pretty sure some (if not, most) of my friends would be surprised if they learn that I haven’t been in a relationship before. It’s nothing embarrassing really, but my guess is that it could potentially turn out to be a pretty awkward situation for me *bitter laugh*. Definitely, it’s not that my friends have all been attached multiple times or have had loads of romantic love experience but it seems like even the ‘forever green’ ones have been in some sort of serious ‘it’s complicated’ tangle before. And ‘it’s complicated’, whilst messy and uncertain, typically involves mutual feelings of liking for each other so it passes the minimal threshold (quite arbitrarily determined by me haha) required for the “had/has dating experience” category. On the contrary, I haven’t experienced any of the above before. More often than not, it has always been one-sided liking (on my part) and I haven’t had the good fortune of receiving any reciprocal feelings from the target(s) of my affections. Lest it sounds pathetic (I don’t go around falling in love with people), there have only been 2 ‘targets’ in the past 4-5 years so it’s still not too bad haha
That said, it hasn’t been all that good either. A past encounter with a particular someone did leave a bad aftertaste (a quite broken heart and very, very hurt feelings) but I’m happy to announce that I’m finally rid of these awful emotions and memories. It took a couple of years but I’m finally. totally. seriously. over it – honestly, it wouldn’t have taken that long (it sounds like a ridiculously long time in hindsight, I know) but since there was no one else whom I liked and who could have diverted my attention during that time, I guess I spent a bit more time than necessary dwelling on and languishing over the past. Fortunately, I can now happily say that it’s all safely in the past, where it can no longer hurt me. Yay!
Okay, back to the topic (said jerk will come later). I don’t really mind being single, I mean I can even joke about it, but sometimes, I admit that it can get lonely when you notice all your close friends getting into relationships with people who seem to love them very much.
Alright, this post isn’t really going the way I envisioned it to be hahaha
Please be prepared for a stream of disorganized thoughts from here on! XD
To cut a long story short, I have been wondering about the reasons as to why my friend can attract 10 different guys in a year as opposed to me. Initially, it made me doubt my own appeal as a girl – because if you think about it, although I’m not beautiful, I’m not ugly either! Neither am I too short/too tall/too skinny/too chubby or too evil/mean/nasty so there had to be some other reason (read: problem with me) to explain the lack of suitors! Till today, I have no idea what that ‘reason’ is but fortunately, I’m at peace with myself ahahaha I have a very healthy self-esteem level purleaseee – I’m how cute! Hahahahah ^^
I do have some hypotheses that seek to explain this mystery (eg. the people around me don’t know the real me, I’m just too aloof etc.) but let’s leave that for another day.
But wait! Here comes the funny part :D
A hilariously strange thing happened to me last, last Wednesday. For the first time in my life, someone actually tried to (to quote my friend) hit on me. If I could, I seriously would have LOLED big time right then. Why? Because such things shouldn’t be happening to me.. simply because they don’t! Haha I’ve heard of it happening to my friend before but me? PFFFTT HAHAHA *rolls around on floor laughing* This kind of stuff just don’t match well with me, I guess.
So there I was at the NUS campus bus stop, waiting for a bus. I wasn’t entirely sure how to get to my destination so I went around asking people at the bus stop for directions. Little did I know that someone was actually watching me… (oops, now it sounds like a scary story haha) Anyway, the bus took close to 25 minutes to arrive so I was just sitting there doing my own thing, surfing Facebook, Twitter and just about anything interesting and entertaining on my phone.
5 minutes into the wait, I started to have this strange feeling of being watched – I could feel someone who was standing behind looking at me constantly. Initially, I just brushed it off because the person could very well have been looking at something else in my direction but when the occasional glance extended into something longer, I thought the person was spying on… *bursts into laughter* my phone. Yes, my phone. (I totally misread the situation hahaha) I honestly thought that the person standing behind me was some adult or NUS kid who was spying on my phone activities and judging me (I imagine it would have gone along the lines of, “Kids nowadays are just glued to their phones, tsk. Just like this girl who’s using her phone constantly and jumping from app to app.” or “How many times is she going to open the Twitter app and read the tweets. Dahlingg, the number of tweets ain’t gonna magically balloon within a timeframe of 3 minutes. Be patient and wait for the bus. And get off the phone, will ya.”) so I suddenly felt super self-conscious. Hence, after checking my phone for the umpteenth time (you can tell how bored I was waiting at the bus stop), I decided to stash it away in my bag to prevent any further spying by snobbish adults. Naturally, the person didn’t stop looking (since it had nothing to do with my phone) but by then, I wasn’t too concerned anymore because the bus had arrived. I stood up to board the bus and the-person-I-thought-was-a-snobbish-spying-adult-poking-his-or-her-big-nose-into-other-people’s-business made his move.
First surprise – he was a NUS student. He came up to me abruptly and said something like, “I heard you asking for directions earlier blabla So where would you like to go? I can help you get there blablabla.” (inner self should have started freaking out like this >> ohmygawd you were spying on me when I was asking for directions half an hour ago?!?!?!?!!!! >> but inner self did not -___-’’) Perhaps due to the fact that I was running awfully late for the event at NUS and that the girl whom I had initially approached for directions didn’t seem to care about me anymore (sobs), I gratefully accepted his help and we boarded the bus. He proceeded to strike up a conversation with me and through it, I learnt that he was a medicine student in his final year of study (I have no idea how true this is though) and that he was headed to the Business School that night.
We talked a little about our respective schools and cultures – yes, it was a long bus ride T^T – and although I don’t usually/hardly talk to strangers, I’m generally friendlier towards helpful people so I humored him by maintaining the conversation. Besides, I’m one who doesn’t really mind sharing my opinions on certain generic topics (like schools and stuff) as long as the other party doesn’t know who I am. Obviously, I wasn’t planning to get to know this ‘Mr. Helpful’ so I had no qualms in just sharing my views or talking to him since it would end once I got off the bus anyway.
Alas, ‘Mr. Helpful’ had other plans. He suddenly and inexplicably got off at my stop (the Business school is a few stops after mine) and the conversation after that basically went like this:
Me: Oh you’re getting off now? I thought you were going to the Business school! You can just tell me the directions and I can find my way there on my own!
Him: (no response, at least none that I could hear) (Took big strides towards the place I was looking for)
Note: I didn’t press for the reason why he got off the bus because I didn’t want to be presumptuous in assuming that he had done so just to bring me to the NUSS GH. For all I knew, he could have been a person who uh- enjoyed walking to the Business school rather than taking the bus.
Me: (struggling to catch up) Is this the NUSS GH? Or is that the NUSS GH?
Him: Yes, it’s just here.
Me: That one?
Him: No. This one.
Me: Oh! This one, I recognize it! Ah, thank you so much! I can just make my way there from here – you should be on your way to the Business school now! (starts thanking him)
Him: Oh it’s okay! (unexpectedly whipped out his phone from his pocket when we were nearing the NUSS GH) Why don’t you give me your number so that – (clicks on the Contacts page and started preparing a new entry) I can blablabla..
Me: (caught by not-so-pleasant surprise) What? Haha errrrrmmmm…..
Him: (strange smile)
Me: (awkward laugh) Ahahahaha ermm, why do you need my number! Ahahhaaha (inner self finally awakened: Why, ‘Mr. Helpful’, especially when we’ve already reached the place I wanted to go to?!)
Him: (still holding phone expectantly)
Me: (more awkward but chirpy laughing) But really, why would you need my number? Ahahahahha
Him: (smile disappeared faster than I could even respond) (mumbled something that I couldn’t hear, bid a hasty goodbye and turned to leave; notably, his phone had vanished from his hands)
At that moment, I suddenly felt pretty bad so I tried to defuse the awkward situation by asking for his name after thanking him once more. (some sort of acknowledgment and appreciation for his help?) I’m not sure if it helped much but I really tried my best to reduce the embarrassment he felt. Still, he fled like the wind right after he asked for my name (which I politely gave).
All in all, that was a very strange encounter.
It was distressing in a certain way but oddly assuring in another, because it just means that I’m not that unattractive haha! That said, I highly suspect it was only because I was very prettily dressed that evening (yay, credit goes to my amazingly beautiful Korean skirt) – so maybe, not that attractive after all. *self-deprecating laugh*
Annddddd *drumroll* that's enough storytelling for the day!
TIll the NEXT post! :D
