Tuesday, 1 May 2012

I'm back!

Glorious Summer has arrived! WHEEEE :D

Anyway, I chanced upon a post about FTB (Freshmen Orientation) that has been lying hidden in a folder for the past 9 months! (o_o)!! So up it's gonna go!


START~

I really enjoyed FTB so I’m going to dedicate one entire post to the 3D2N trip :D and immortalize those wonderful, brilliant feelings in this blog, so that one day, I can look back fondly upon these memories and smile proudly, and happily..

So FTB was in fact, off to a rough start for me because on my way to school, I got into a slight argument with my dad over the size of the bag I was bringing and I became quite unhappy. My bag was considerably large (handheld luggage) because there was simply no way I could stuff 6-7 sets of clothes, towels, toiletries and all into a bag-pack (I have absolutely NO idea how people are able to stuff so many things into a school bag) but he just kept ranting on and on about how impractical that was. -.- Like that would make my bag lighter or something. Urgh. As a result, I was pretty upset as I made my way to the Auditorium, dao-ing all the doorboys and doorgirls who had the widest smiles ever on their faces (sorry! it was unintentional!). That hostility even extended to my facilitator- who had to deal with a very surly-looking girl early in the morning haha. I had thought then that the bad mood would extend on for the rest of the camp, but fortunately things took a turn for the better. Woohoo SMURFS10 rocks!

Initially, I was damn siann while waiting in the auditorium for everything to start because no one was talking! Both people sitting beside me were occupied with their own stuff- Josh was on his phone, YiChong was busy reading newspapers…  whilst I was doing nothing D: At that point in time, I was kinda envious of Livia, who had the luxury of sitting next to a hyper and super-enthu guy because at least someone was making some noise! Unlike the VERY VERY awkward silence around the 3 of us.. I didn’t want my camp to start like that because if we can’t even make friends with the people beside us, when are we going to ever make friends with them?! So I just casually started a conversation with the less-occupied one, Josh, asking about his name, JC, school, ambition blablabla so as to fill up the uncomfortable silence hanging in the air. It came as a surprise to me later that because of my attempt to get the conversation going, Josh had the impression that I was a chatty person haha WOW :D first time hearing that- not bad not bad! But it’s not true after all, because it was a very conscious effort on my part to make small talk.. here’s a sneak peek into my mind at that time: XD

1)      *sigh* I’m sleepy…

2)      *sighhhh* I’m sleepy and bored…

3)      *excited for a while* I see livia! *sighs again* we’re too far away to talk properly…

4)      (looks around) nobody’s talking. Why are people being so anti-social? And seriously, reading the newspapers at camp?? o_O?!!

5)      *sigh* so sian.. Should I talk to someone? But who to talk to? Talk about what? (Glances around frantically, hoping to find a support but found none)

6)      *huge sigh* this is getting hopeless. I shall just TALK!

Hahahahaha do you get the gist now? All the internal struggle just for a simple conversation haha :D

Actually I’m tired of typing now XDD so much for one day already! But it was also on this day that we learnt new games like “EEE-HAR/BarnHOUSE! /0\ and bigtittycougar”, MRT game and got to know new people like our dear facilitators, Brian and Yunsu (Korean!! But I didn’t feel like we could be close friends, which is plain sad) and of course, not forgetting SMURFS10!

SMURFS10: Moi, Ain, Tabitha, Chelsea,  YuXuan, Hayati, Gabriel, Josh, Jianyang, YiChong

I didn’t enjoy the first day as much as the second and third day though despite having played FUZZY WUZZY and had an insanely fun time trying to figure it out -.- mind torture.. haha people must understand that HINTS ain’t worth anything if I don’t even understand the hint in the first place HAHA but naooo I know *proud ^^* FUZZY WUZZY likes kangaroos, but does not like pigs! FUZZY WUZZY likes books but not paper (this was confusing, I have to admit) and trees but not leaves. We painted our group flag and came up with a contract too but such activities aren’t very exciting yea?

The real “activities” came after that, but I didn’t exactly see any difference between those before and after lunch. They all felt pointless to me. The first game involved lifting people through a small gap in mid-air whilst the second game involved entering and exiting a ‘spiderweb’ while balancing matchboxes; they were challenging (especially the lifting game) but I felt, of little significance. As I told my mum after the camp, I only like games that are HAPPINESS-INDUCING, FUN-LIKE-NO-ONE’S-BUSINESS and INTERACTIVE! :P GAMES LIKE DINGDONG!!! I don’t really care if the game has an emphasis on intelligence, teamwork or organizational skills- if I don’t enjoy it, it’s a stupid game. Period.

Haha you can surely tell that I LOVED the game DINGDONG (played on the 2^nd day) because frankly, I think it’s the ultimate game of the century!!!!! It’s ridiculously simple, (even more so than ABC!) yet it provides such awesome fun! I don’t remember laughing that uncontrollably before, and the best part was everyone else was laughing too as if we were all high on laughing gas XD It was a really liberating experience for me :) to be able to laugh freely without holding back..

The laughing stopped when it was time to sleep though, because you would be crazy to still be able to laugh at the ohmygawditsobleddyhardanduncomfortable ground we had to sleep on. T^T Oh! Did I forget to mention that we were sleeping in tents? In the unevenly-tiled courtyard? *MAJOR SIGH* It was such a painful experience that I can’t bear the thought of thinking about it- this is basically how it went:

12.30pm- hops back to tent to sleep

12.30pm-1am- toss and turn (X10000000) while trying to block out the noise from everyone else (those people totally didn’t need to sleep  -.-)

1am-2am- Gave up on attempting to sleep; decided to venture out to see stars and have a HTHT with Livia (actually bumped into her as she returned from a loo trip) and Lee Tat

2am-3.30am- toss and turn (X10000000), waking up to keep towels cos of the rain; adjust tent flaps

3.30am-4.55am- I suspect I slept for a while, in between tossing, turning, sitting up and changing sleeping positions for like the thousandth time ever D:

4.55am- sits up, goes “OMG it’s 5am”, then lies back down

6am- someone is telling me it’s time to wake up *panda rolls sloowwly and painfullyyy out of tent*

6.30am- thinks to self, “ I think my bones are going to break” hahahah and trods sadly to loo

That said, I couldn’t have been happier for the next day’s arrival because sleeping (or severe lack of it) was unbearable that day.. It rained heavily on the 2^nd day, flooded all the tents (ours spared, fortunately) and just when I was thinking that maybeeee, perhapssss (puppy-eyed dog trots out) we could sleep somewhere else more comfy.. ALAS! THEY *shoots evil glance at them* had other plans for us T_T In the end, we had to sleep at the CCC- sheltered, but with equally hard flooring… OUCH in advance haha. On a side note, how do you make an emoticon with a pained expression? >:c   D:<  ]:<

Okayy, I’m seriously tired of typing now. I shall just skip the day games on Day 2, and talk briefly about night games and rafting. Final challenge will have to wait a while!

Night games which I think took place on the 1^st night:

scissors-paper-stone game (funfunfun)

is-that-real-coke-or-not game (still have no idea what gave me away)

time-to-smear-some-kind-of-disgusting-paste-like-peanut-butter-on-you game (I got peanut butter on my neck… …)

torchlight activity (UBER SIANZ cos I wasn’t entirely in the picture. I was. Translucent. Damn. Pissed.)

painting-with-any-other-body-parts-apart-from-your-hands game (I completely DID NOT agree to paint cos I was pissed from before)

HTHT talk with facilitators about SMU, people etc.

Rafting:

Very interesting because I think this is my first time ever building a raft from scratch! Lots of knots-tying, lifting of barrels and tubes (I’M MACHOMAN NOW! :D) and woohoo, floating on the water!! ^_^ I didn’t know how to do the knots by myself, so I made sure that I helped out as much as I could! I’m not going to do nothing just cos I don’t know how to do it! Positive attitude right!!

Final Challenge:

Very pleasant experience overall . The team fully understood the meaning of “the strongest team is only as strong as its weakest link” and I fully respect them for that. Apart from a few irritating moments, like getting dunked by buckets of seawater and sand mixtures (the person in charge can’t aim for nuts ):<) and being the target of someone’s impatience (the person was going “Stop pressing! Stop pressing!” in a super irritating tone, but I didn’t realize till the end that she was actually talking to me because I obviously wasn’t pressing anything.. that sort of annoyed me quite a bit because she was the one who was actually applying pressure to the item =.=) everything else was GREAT! ^~^

At the end of it all, I was actually reluctant to leave because time simply passed too quickly :'( SOBS I was only starting to enjoy myself, the fun was just starting, but the camp was ending! Regardless, I left the camp a very happy, and even possibly, slightly changed person.

FTB 2011, SMURFS10 Forever!!

(psst more on romance in the next post heehee if I decide to share it ^^)

OOOHH here's a cute little penguin to end off the post!

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

First post in close to 7 months.. and boy, how have things changed in these 7 months! The last time I posted, FTB run 1 was just over but now, university has started and I'm already in the second term of Year 1!

I feel pretty apologetic to myself for not having blogged at all in the past half year or so, because this blog was meant to chart (sort of) my development as a person, my growth as an individual. And if I can't even manage my time well enough to spare 20 minutes or so each other week for a post, what kind of improvement is there to speak of.. But I shall try harder from now on!

So how has life been since university started? All I can say is that it has just been tiring and more tiring. Day in, day out, life has always been about readings, more readings and even more readings. Otherwise, it's about presentations, projects, assignments and exams. Where has all the fun in life disappeared too?

Gosh, thinking about school makes me feel lethargic; the blogging mood has completely evaporated as well.

Goodbye for today then.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Oops!! haha my post to be expected in the "next few days" unexpectedly dragged out into a full month! It wasn't intentional though; I do have many things in mind that I would like to put down (on computer, not paper) in words but somehow, the writing mood just never arrived D: But it's alright now cos HERE I AM! I shan't elaborate on all the uni apps process anymore because it's useless anyway- not like it will change things.. So here's the news- I will be heading to SMU Law! In fact, I just came back from FTB 2011 (Freshmen Teambuilding Camp) and mannn, was it the funnest camp ever! ^~^

Yesterday, many people were asking me about how I found the camp and my answer was the same to all of them- I had tremendous fun at FTB, and I'm really am very happy myself that I was able to enjoy the camp..

Initially, I had many misgivings about attending FTB because I haven't really enjoyed any camps in the past at all.. In fact, all I remember about OBS in sec 3 was that it was gruelling, tough, dirty and itchy (the rashes/allergy spoilt everything) and literally nothing about the people I spent time with. A part of the reason for the poor impression was also because I felt I was being treated unfairly at camp, with members picking on me for not contributing enough when I was already trying my best. It's not my fault that I'm fair and not good at sports (oh well, maybe I should have exercised more haha) which then gives people the impression that I'm weak and tofu-like. People always seem to think that I'm weak and I require people's protection, but that seriously can't be further from the truth.. Definitely, to be protected and taken care of is a nice feeling, but that doesn't necessarily mean I need people to do that for me. I'm not a useless person; I can jolly well take care of myself so I absolutely hate it when people attempt to force their misconceptions and judgment on me. This is also why I refused to let anyone carry my bag for me at FTB no matter how heavy it was (and how my fingers were almost falling off -.-).. cos even if the way people think do not change, at least I don't have to perpetuate their misconceptions.. Sure, I whine and complain and all that, but I can take care of myself well enough :) GIRL POWER!! As for all other secondary or JC CCA camps, those memories were not really significant because I didn't socialize much so naturally, I don't remember them. All I can remember is the "sian-ness" I experienced at camps haha XD

Correspondingly, I had extremely hesistant towards and skeptical about FTB, worrying about what kind of activities (and torture we will be subjected to), worrying about cleanliness and baths, worrying about my group members, my facilitators and all, that I couldn't sleep the night before. I think my imagination went into overdrive, thinking of every single horrifying scenario that could happen -.- However, it could be because of this absolutely lack of expectations that I came to enjoy FTB so much :D

SMURFS10 is really the best group I could ever have.. Everyone was so kind and understanding towards everyone else, laughing together, making precious memories together.. In particular, I thought it was very considerate of them during the Final Challenge where they made sure that poor runners *guilty look* were alright at all times. (maybe they were scolding and cursing inside hahaha but at least I didn't have to hear it) For once, I really felt like I was a part of the team.. it was a refreshing feeling and I sincerely want that to continue..

I love you guys, SMURFS10!!

(I gotta go now so I shall blog more about the camp on Monday!)

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Woohoo it's been close to 2 months since I last blogged! Unbeliebable! (hehe as you can see, I'm a Belieber now! JB rocks!) Many things have happened since though, with friends, with university applications, with life- to the extent that it's amazing (in a somewhat sad way) how 2 months can change so many things and people.. but I shall leave that for my next post which should be arriving in a few days! Please do look foward to it :) oh! and a special post dedicated to all my idols will be coming soon too so.. TILL THEN! :D

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Kyaaa I originally had a lot of stuff to blog about last night, but I forgot most of it already.

Anyway, yesterday was MM’s BIRTHDAY!! :D

Happy Birthday Mummy! I love you! Love you forever and ever ^_^ *MUACKS*

And happy birthday to Tess and Cheryl- or was it Joy as well.. I still remember you guys clearly, as if the times we spent together were just yesterday, and I wonder if you guys still remember me..

The past is really not too good for me though, when memories can only remain as memories. The word “friends” becomes useless and ain’t mean anything when they can only remain as a figment of the past. But I’m learning to let go now, because dwelling too much on the past is unhealthy. Yup so we should always look forward in life instead! Gogogoooo!!

Currently, all the university admissions interviews/tests are over already so all that’s left is to wait for a reply- hopefully good news! Meanwhile, I still have 2 scholarships activity/interview coming up but I am gunning for the BCA one because it has always been something I wanted regardless of the university course concerned. So I really do hope I get the BCA scholarship offer! :D

Moving on, wait, before I start on the oh-so-accurate love horoscope I saw on yahoo yesterday[, let me provide some advice regarding the interviews I have went for so far. I did benefit quite a bit (in terms of mental preparation) from existing sites (thank you guys so muchie), so to all the aspiring graduates out there who are unsure of what to expect at interviews , let me enlighten you a bit.

University Admissions

Medicine course:
Interview comprises of 2 components- a formal interview with (probably high-ranking) staff at MOH/NUH/NUS followed by a semi-formal (meaning it’s alright to smile more and speak more casually) interview with medical professionals, eg. nurses, doctors etc.

Formal interview: 3:1 ratio
It went pretty badly for me because firstly, I got a shock when I learnt that there were actually 2 interviews on the same day; somehow I got the impression that the 2nd interview would only be carried out if one got shortlisted. Secondly, I didn’t have time to “cool down” after I reached the place and seriously, a giddy, light-headed me doesn’t go well with a formal interview. Much less with interviewers who look so stern and grouchy that if they had a choice, they would probably roll me under the rug and leave me there -.- And did I mention, I absolutely hate their raised eyebrows and questioning eyes- mind if I shaved those brows off? ^^ if you wanna doubt me, then don’t ask me in the first place right?

Also, I think the fact that I was the last candidate on that day made things worse. The interviewers were most likely tired and their minds deadened after listening to 30 immature(?), or super gei si 19 year olds proclaiming their desire to be the next Mother Teresa. Frankly, it’s all over the net (even endorsed by some med students!) that the success of medical interviews depends on (99%) how good a scammer you are and (1%) of true dreams and passion.

If you can’t convince, confuse. :P

Questions asked: SURPRISESURPRISE here!
I was expecting the usual “Why do you want to be a doctor? What do you think doctors do? What kind of doctor are you interested in becoming?” kind of questions but alas! Nobody asked me that. Instead, they grilled me a lot on my subject combination in school, as well as my CCAs. (I doubt they even read my moving personal statement *sniffs*) According to them, if you’re an arts/ humanities student, it doesn’t make sense to aspire to be a doctor which is pure crap to me. So if you really are one, prepare a cool answer to throw back at them!

I’m not even an arts student in the first place, just that I like to read, write and play the guitar, but they needlessly attacked me on that. I have to admit that threw me off a little- point to note, stay CALM always! Just because I like to do artsy stuff doesn’t mean that I HAVE to be an artist, writer or fashion designer. Just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you can’t be involved in the arts. WHAT KINDA LOGIC IS THIS?! *continues yelling*

Next, if you haven’t been taking part in sciencey stuff and medicine-related internships, be prepared to answer WHY. And if you have taken part in non-medicine-related internships, be prepared to answer WHY NOT THOSE. ZZzZz, of course if the motivation is money, don’t say that. :D

Oh and unless you are super sure of the field you want to specialize in= well-informed enough, don’t gei kiang XD

That’s all the hints I can provide!

Semi-formal interview: 3:1 ratio
This is difficult to prepare for because the conversation usually takes shape based on the individual; meaning your hobbies, life, principles are the ones guiding the interview. Just make sure you know (clearly) why you want to be a doctor, some ethics a doctor should have and be informed on news in the medical sphere. Be natural and who knows, your sincerity might get through to them! (basically what I did hahahahaha)

Okie Dokie. Enough scoops on interviews for the day :D 

Seeya back here another time!

Sunday, 3 April 2010

I decided that I had to create a blog post, fu or no fu.

I’m not exactly sure what I want to blog about though, so let’s just start with my latest fb update-“won’t hurt no more”. I posted that last night after I finally came to the painful conclusion that enough was enough- friends are supposed to care for and love each other, friends are supposed to make one feel all warm and fuzzy inside and more than anything else, friends are supposed to bring out the best in each other! People who do not care about making you feel upset.. are not true friends after all.. In the past, I used to believe that I was the one at fault for imposing my own definition and expectations of friendship on him, and that perhaps, it really did cause unnecessary pressure for him, leading to his withdrawal from the relationship. But I did change after that! I worked hard to create the most comfortable environment for this precious friendship, but it seems that my effort and hard work are worthless in his eyes.. because he doesn’t seem to care at all.. He doesn’t give a damn about cutting me off from his life anytime he feels like it, he doesn’t give a damn about losing me as a friend, and neither does he give a damn about how I feel. I really thought that he would understand after telling him so many times that I see him as a very good friend and that he was an important one to me.. and yet, very apparently, he doesn’t understand. At all. It hurts even more because he’s such an important friend to me. And frankly, the feeling when you finally acknowledge the fact that maybe you don’t matter to him at all is horrible. I refused to believe it last year because that would only mean that all my efforts went to naught but now, I’m left with no choice eh?

But that’s life, isn’t it?

Harsh and cruel.

And yet, despite going through the same thing over and over again, it still never fails to amaze me as to how people can hurt others so easily just to protect themselves, with not the least regard about the pain others are suffering as a result of their actions. Well, I’m going to stop being silly. I don’t deserve being treated this way, so regardless of how much I cherish it; I’m taking a step back. I’m not giving up, but I think it should be time someone else tried.

我不需要你的好。我只是不要你对我不好。

也别和我搞什么复杂，本小姐不屑了。

Alright, enough of the whole emo friendship-is-fragile thing. I’ve got- or rather, I’m supposed to have more serious things on my mind, like the 4 interviews next week. I’m like, “this is totally crazy!” because 4 is seriously a lot D: and I’m just not good in interviews luh.. (psst the worst part is that I start laughing when I get overly-nervous -.- just imagine an extremely giggly girl facing 2 stoned-faced interviewers..) Also, the whole preparation for interviews is getting slightly on my nerves; I understand why I have to prepare- to impress the socks off the interviewers, but I’m not used to “selling” myself in say 15-20 minutes. I mean, people don’t usually spend their lives thinking about what sets them apart from the possible boring-and-average-looking-and-unexceptional-human-being next to them.. or if they do even think about it, they might come to the scary conclusion that they are that very boring-and-average-looking-and-unexceptional-human-being.

The world is a meritocratic one, and that sucks when you’re stuck right in the middle- which is the sticky situation I am in now. I’m neither the best, nor I am very lousy- instead, I’m just, so-disturbing–that-it-warrants-an-ohmygawd-average. And the problem is that when you’re average, you are supposed to make up for that by being an uber persuasive speaker, which I don’t think I am- at least not in front of interviewers. I’m quite a good speaker around my family and friends, but somehow, in an interview setting, my brain and mind just sloooowsss dooownnn and my 反应慢半拍 one. I only come up with the fantastic and pretty-sounding answers after the interviews end ._.

Okay, I think it’s time I go think of some fancy and impressive answers now! I know the interviewers will be very critical and try to throw me off balance with their questions, so I gotta be strong! Oh lastly, just let me lament the fact that not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to grow up with a life-long ambition and dream (they love to ask this question but they seldom realize that perhaps, when they were our age, they did not have any answers too). Hence, don’t be hasty in calling the rest of us dreamless pokes, or laugh at us for being lost in life without any goals- because..

A dream does not come easy.

When people have to balance their dreams and practicality, their ambitions and society, dreams cease to be dreams.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Awww man, the interval between my posts is getting longer and longer D: It's not that I have nothing to type or that I don't want to type; in fact I have lots to type but somehow by the time I get home and sit in front of the computer, that "I-wanna-blogggg" feeling is already gone. But I shall try hard and get that fu~ back! Yupp anyway to update things a little bit, I'm officially unemployed now! My teaching internship ended last friday so now I'm jobless again X) but I think this rest is well-deserved cos the past 2 months has been pretty stressing. I do like teaching a lot, but sometimes I really can't cope with the demands of having to face 30 kids by myself. Perhaps it's time to retreat back into my comfort zone for a while.. and stop typing here haha! BYEE