Yesterday, me and my sister encountered a rather funny and yet at the same time, bewildering experience when we walked down Orchard Road. We were actually talent-spotted!! *fireworks start exploding in the sky* That was pretty exciting initially, but of all the talent scouts in the world, we actually had to be talent spotted by a particular Steven Lim. =.= *all the fireworks disappear in a POoF*
At first, when he mentioned he was Steven Lim, a quick search through my memory bank turned up nothing.. maybe just a sketchy distant memory of a Singapore Idol wannabe prancing around in yellow boxers or something (am I right?) but my brain was in full denial of that because I couldn't believe that such a guy could own a modelling agency.. but.. no surprises.. it was him in the flesh (eww). And apparently he's still the same guy as before, still a 自恋狂, with an ego so outrageously big it could squash everybody on Earth. Maybe he thought he was or rather, IS famous, but dear stevie, you're not.. Here are a few tips for amateur talent scouts out there:
1) DO NOT ASSUME THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS YOU
do not be caught up in your own self-delusion that you're a famous guy whom the world must know because you may not be, just like how dear SL did. Here's what went on during our encounter: (approx. sic)
SL: You know who I am right? You must have seen me on TV before right?
Me and sis: Err, no we haven't.
SL: *astonished look* You haven't? You must have seen me on Ch 5, Okto blablabla (lists every tv show he has been on)!
Me and sis: Err, still no.
SL: *seriously shocked look* 你们没有看电视的啊?!
Me and sis: Err, we do, but we haven't seen you before.
And I was quite insulted by his comment cos I mean seriously, dude, just because we haven't seen you on TV doesn't mean we don't watch tv. We don't really like to watch english dramas (so we don't know what goes on on Ch5 or Okto; but I like to watch Pokemon and Power Rangers on Okto tho), and your roles were probably some 无名小卒 whom we wouldn't notice, so unless you appear on Power Rangers as some monster (I don't think you can be a ranger), I wouldn't know who in the world you are.
2) KINDLY INTRODUCE YOUR COMPANY WHEN YOU APPROACH PEOPLE
because this world is filled with scammers of all kinds waiting to cheat people of feelings (mock sobs, I can't be a model after all... boohoo XD) or precious money; so it's natural that I'm wary of strangers who approach us. Hence, to add credibility to yourself, you should introduce your company/agency upfront, and if better, offer a namecard, and not try and get people to rack their memories for a SL. Tsktsk.
SL: Hello, 两位小姐, are you interested in being a freelance model? Because I'm looking for models blablabla.. some 拍马屁-ing like 你觉得你姐姐漂亮吗? 漂亮所以应该当模特儿! (what if I said she wasn't pretty eh.. what would he say??) and 给我两分钟 (which he repeated countless of times after we declined his offer).
So being nice, we gave him our precious 120 seconds but I'm sure he took more than that ><>
3)DO NOT TRY TO CRAM EVERYTHING IN 120 SECONDS
because it's tough on our ears to actually catch everything he was saying.. really like 机关枪 shooting 10000 rounds/min. So I just listened to snippets of his speech (but I wasn't interested anyway so didn't matter that much).. but if it were somebody who was really interested in modelling, I think she would have missed out on a lot of vital points in his speech so sloooowwwww doooowwwnnnn *whale speech* Moreover, it's quite impossible to convince people to join your team and part with $100 right?
SL: Can you afford $100 now?
Me: Err, why? o.o
I thought he was checking on our financial situation to determine whether we needed the modelling job, but it turned out not to be so..
4) DO NOT CARRY AROUND AN OUTDATED ARTICLE WHICH IS NOT FAVOURABLE TO YOURSELF
because it just casts a negative light around your initially untainted character. I was curious about the laminated article SL (didn't realise who he was at that time, so I was being genuinely sincere) was waving about so I requested to look at it. And what were the first words which jumped out at me? "world's 'handsomest' man'", "some girl undressed during a webcam conversation with him, and flashed something at him" etc. If you're a relatively normal person, you can obviously tell that this article is going to do nothing good for your own publicity, except remind people of your *maybe-you-think-is-glorious" past..so I asked him point-blank:
Me: Are you SL from Singapore Idol a couple of years back?
SL: Yes *can't remember if he was happy or anything* I was on Singapore Idol for was-it-13-or-14 episodes!
Me: OHHH *memories of yellow spandex suit comes flooding back*
5) DO NOT BE DISRESPECTFUL BY IMITATING THE PERSON YOU ARE SPEAKING TO
this was the one that pissed me off the most cos he tried to act like me and imitate the way I was talking, which was downright childish and unprofessional. major TSKTSK. he did it because I was talking like this, "err, yes/no. err *raised eyebrows* blablabla.. *apprehensive look* blablabla" and he most probably found my "err"s annoying which prompted his childish actions but stilllll- I only speak this way when I'm hesistant or feeling like O_O and it was the latter I felt during our encounter. Because you see, me and my sister were on our way to a fragrant bakery with steaming, yummy bread so he was delaying us from laying our hands on some delicious puffs! Initially, I was accomodating, but when we made it clear we were not interested and he just had to finish his 120s speech, I was irritated so I broke eye contact, stared into the far distance while answering him briefly, trying to give a SUBTLE hint that we GTG now. However, being the egoistic man he is, he failed to pick up the hint and misunderstood my behavior for something else. =/ *ROARS*
SL: 你们很少跟人说话是吗?
Me: Err, no. Just that we don't get approached by strangers often.
SL: 难道你们没有遇过人跟你们问路? (can't remember if he said it in chinese/english..) then are you like this? *goes on to imitate me* so you will say err.. *raises eyebrows* it's this way.. *leans backwards onto heels* err.. blablabla"
Me: Err, no. *quite angry and baffled by his behavior so didn't bother to retort*
And the funniest was at the end. Rhetorical Question In Play.
SL: (in chinese) Do you believe that I have 1500 models under me?
Me: ...
SL: (in chinese) You must believe me because I really have 1500 models under me!
Me: ... ( I wanted to say no, but that would have wasted more time, and our bready were waiting for us)
SO WE ENDED OUR CONVO AND LEFT =)
just a 5-10 minutes experience, and it's been a funny day already.
